Let’s talk about Stimming.
STIM
What is Stimming?
“Stimming” is a repetitive behavior that children will do over and over and over and over. It is commonly seen within autistic children, but not exclusive to them. It can happen multiple times throughout the day, or only in certain situations. It could be in response to excitement, happiness, boredom, stress, fear, or anxiety. This includes behaviors like rocking back and forth, jumping up and down, twirling, flapping hands and more. It can be listening to the same thing over and over, like a 10-second clip of something on an iPad or TV. It can be repeating books or movie phrases over and over or making repetitive sounds.
Parents are discouraged to stop this behavior as it can be soothing for the child, but I feel it is imperative for the child to learn ways to redirect, and manage the behavior to better adjust to a social setting where the behavior can be disruptive such as in a classroom, movie theaters, commercial flights etc.
It is important to also consider intervention when stimming interferes with learning, results in social exclusion, or is destructive.
Lastly, the sanity of the other members of the household should be considered. I love my child but the constant repetitive sounds of his stim, made it impossible to work from home, and was literally driving me insane.
Here are some of the techniques that has helped immensely our son and our family;
Start small and start slow.
Identify your main triggers. Screens are a huge one for us; we limited screen time, prevented rewinding of clips back and forth (which were over stimulating him)
Provided a safe space for him to Stim away! We selected his room and kindly directed him there when stimming would get disruptive. We no longer need to direct him, when he knows he will do something that will induce stimming, he goes there himself and loves his space.
In a public setting where it is possible to step outside, we would go for a walk to get the “wiggles out”. I would wiggle with him sometimes to demonstrate the behavior.
Positive reinforcement when he was able to keep a calm body during situations that would require him to be patient or would typically induce stim.
Setting expectations ahead of time. For example; “You can repeat the clip back and forth but no noises until the end of my call” He would rock back and forth, but worked on not making the verbal stim.. Or “If you watch the whole movie, you can repeat your favorite part while keeping a calm body”
Provide apparatus that help with regulation such as big yoga balls, trampolines, hammocks, seat cushions, weighted blankets, vests, fidget toys etc. My son watches TV bouncing on a giant ball
Redirect the behavior, particularly in public to something else more discreet like making pumping movements with his hands.
Talk to your child and respect him. Don’t just tell him what to do even if you don’t think he will understand. Point out why you are asking him to be mindful of others around him, ask him to see if the situation was reversed. For example, “How would you feel if you were watching a movie with a friend, and he would keep making distracting noises and movements disrupting your enjoyment?”
Role play; this is our favorite. Play the child, and demonstrate the behavior letting him be the parent and coach you. My son loves this and even when he gets a concept, he still asks to role play purely for enjoyment.
Each child and family is different, the practices listed above worked for us. Only after trial and error will you find what works best for you.
